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3 Sneaky Fallacies That Ruin Great Relationships

Dr. Kelly Flanagan explains that marriages aren’t healed with big things; they’re healed with small things done every day. You can do it.

The Good Men Project
5 min readJan 15, 2020
Photo credit: Flickr/Sean McGrath

By Kelly Flanagan

Around this time last year, in Chicago, we were in the middle of a polar vortex. The thermostat hovered around zero. The schools were frequently closed. It was painful to go outside.

And my wife went to New Orleans without me.

It was a business trip, and she went out of her way to make provisions for the kids and me — she even flew her mother in to help with childcare while I was at work. Nevertheless, on the night the thermostat short-circuited and I discovered dog poop wedged in the couch cushions, she sent me a video of her enjoying Bourbon Street.

And I got as bitter as the weather outside.

When that happens — when I feel like I’m on my own and nobody cares about me — I put a big, invisible wall between me and everybody I love. When she returned from New Orleans, I wanted to be good to her but, to be honest, I also didn’t want to. So, I wasn’t. The problem is, after a few weeks, I was lonelier than ever and I just wanted my wife back.

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The Good Men Project
The Good Men Project

Written by The Good Men Project

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