Member-only story
5 Things Skilled Lovers Do Better
Thomas Fiffer shares the secrets skilled lovers use to keep their partners happy.
No, this is not about sex. It’s about love. Everybody loves. Everybody except psychopaths, who pretend. You don’t need a love license to go have a relationship. You just do it, or it happens. But not everybody is good at love — or skilled at loving. Sometimes, love gets stuck, like words caught in the throat, and the feelings in our hearts don’t convert into actions embodying those feelings. Because while love is a magical, mysterious emotion, it’s also a consistent, predictable way of acting and something you can learn to get better at with time.
As with any art or science, discipline or practice, there are amateurs and professionals, neophytes and masters. The measure of success is in impact, not intent. You may be madly in love with your partner, but the intensity of your love may not translate into your partner feeling loved by you. But you can change that. You can stop having that frustrating conversation that goes nowhere, the one that starts with your partner saying, “I’m not happy,” and you responding, “But I love you. Leading with but means you’re already backpedaling. Instead, you can lead with strength and start seeing the gift of your love reciprocated and increased as…
