7 Deadly Pitfalls in Marriage and Committed Relationships

Caveat emptor! What your mother never told you about being in a relationship but, Dr. Steve will.

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The 7 Pitfalls:

1. Sex.

Let’s be honest here. Sex is one of the primary reasons men gladly get into a committed relationship. They think it will be on-demand and wild. Often it is for the first few months and then things change.

2. Money.

Money is a huge problem for many couples. It becomes the focal point of the hidden stresses in the relationship. All the little irritations and pet peeves flow nicely into money conflict. Money gives you something tangible to latch onto and make the other person wrong.

3. Children.

I love children. You may not. But love them or hate them, they are your responsibility. And that’s part of the problem. It is a 24/7 job with no downtime. Having children can skew your view of your partner. That’s assuming you even see him or her anymore.

4. Boredom.

It is easy to fall into the boredom trap. It is an insidious pitfall, one that silently creeps up on you and strikes swiftly in the night. You wake up one morning in a sweat wondering what the hell your life is all about. Everything looks grey and this matches your feeling. Life tastes like ash and you thirst for something, anything, to wash away the tasteless filth in your mouth and soul.

5. Fighting.

A.K.A. “conflict management.” I hate that term. It feels like an efficiency team at some corporation came up with that phrase during a brainstorming session. I like more down to earth terms that don’t try and whitewash or candy coat what is really happening. We are fighting, arguing, getting defensive, attacking, pouting, raging, stone-walling, guilting, etc.

6. Secrets.

Do you remember when you first fell in love? You and your partner spent endless hours talking to each other, getting to know each other. As trust was built you divulged more and more of yourself, even sharing dreams and dark secrets. In this protective bubble of love, you were safe.

7. Taking your partner for granted.

This is easy to do, especially in a good relationship. Things are going well and you think it is the natural order of things. It isn’t. Life is full of surprises and demanding challenges that require a flexible response if you are to overcome the drama you face.

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