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Dating Warning Signs: When Seeking a Partner, Don’t Be Stupid
Don’t make the mistake of thinking these signs don’t matter or that your partner will change.
I debated about the title of this post, wondering whether my wording was too blunt a prescription for choosing a partner. But when it came down to it, I couldn’t find a more accurate alternative. Here’s why.
I’ve spent the last few years interviewing over 700 older people about love, relationships, and marriage (described in a new book on the topic). When I tried to convey their advice on this issue, however, behind me, I could hear these wise elders shouting this lesson to younger people: Don’t be dumb in choosing your partner!
Over and over, when it comes to marriage the elders point to decisions that completely ignore the evidence and show bad judgment. They believe there are a set of signs so strong and compelling that they tell you to get out of the relationship. However all too many people ignore the clear warnings and get married — and, the elders tell us, live through a horrendous period (or even an entire married life), suffering the consequences of that dumb decision.
Sifting through hundreds of responses, I learned about four warning signs that should…