Escaping Traditional Masculinity May Be the Bravest Thing a Man Can Do

I get that you are not unbreakable.

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By Shari Tischler

“Cry-baby.” Little boys hear these two heart-wrenching syllables as they grow to be men, and their ego and real emotions get suppressed.

I speak in truth, as a thirty-something-year-old woman that there is nothing sexier than a man living in his raw, emotionally naked self. It is what builds for connection and trust in a deep, long-lasting, and intimate relationship. I do not like to guess what you are thinking, feeling, or what it is that you really want. As your partner, I am there to listen. I don’t mind being told what your deepest heart’s desires really are.

Please — bare it all! I want to know what I am up against, what I can take, not take, and what I am willing to put up with (I dare you to try me!).

By all means, I do not expect you to suppress being the man you were born as; the one who may instinctively feed into his animalistic nature when he sees something, or someone his insides crave. But, I do ask that you not fear to remove the mask. I ask that you do not live in shame if that Ed Sheeran song you hear on the radio while driving to work gets you just a tad bit choked up, or, worse, forces you to start thinking about your own life, and maybe even marriage.

It is okay, and it is safe to feel your feelings. Feelings are exactly that — they are meant to be felt. I promise not to judge!

I want to be blindsided by your courage, and faith, even if you have to be vulnerable to get there. It is okay to be imperfect. Most of the time our biggest fuck-ups lead to greatness, even if you have to ride out the shit storm to get there. It is how you rise back up again, which in the end is the only thing that truly matters. Learn to love your scars, and I will love them with you. I get that you are not unbreakable.

Failing at work, in a goal, in a dream, or a relationship does not make you a failure as a man. Life tests us in our resilience. I love you for failing because it means you tried. It means you cared enough about something to go after it. And it means that you are brave enough to fucking do it!

Because there is nothing more beautiful, and sexy than allowing us to love you, even when you are broken. There is nothing more magical than to see and be seen for who you really are. And, maybe, you might just come to find that the little boy inside is braver than the man who shows his face to the world every single day.

This story was previously published on The Good Men Project.

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