Estrangement: The Silent Epidemic

Despite its prevalence, stigma and shame can exacerbate the pain and loss.

Photo credit: Shutterstock

By Ed Ergenzinger

KEY POINTS

• Over 1 in 4 Americans are currently estranged from a family member.
• Estrangement often causes stigma, disenfranchised grief, and social disenfranchisement.
• If given the chance, apologize for past hurts and traumas and try to see the other person’s side without being defensive.
• When there’s no opportunity for reconciliation, try to grieve, forgive, accept, and find joy in other relationships and interests.

Over 25 percent of Americans are currently estranged from a family member, and over 43 percent have experienced family estrangement at some point. And those statistics are probably low since they are based on pre-COVID data — before the stresses of the pandemic and the political climate deepened existing fault lines in many families.

That means millions of people are living with the pain of being cut off from the people they love. And yet, estrangement is still seen as taboo. It’s a silent epidemic because so few people are willing to talk about it.