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How Do I Live Without You?
How I overcame co-dependence (and you can too).
By C. Alexander
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything good in my life,
And tell me now
How do I live without you?
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
How do I ever, ever survive?
-LeAnn Rimes, “How Do I Live”
I don’t really listen to country music anymore, but this song still gets stuck in my head from time to time, a remnant from a childhood full of media romanticizing codependency. From “you complete me” in Jerry McGuire, to everything about Bella and Edward in Twilight, codependency has been celebrated so much as “true love,” that when I first began to understand the ways I was codependent, I had a hard time seeing the ways it wasn’t healthy.
I always liked girls.
In 4th grade, I had a “girlfriend” who I was already imagining a lifelong bond with. I had her buy me a Britney Spears CD for my birthday (upon my request, don’t shame my 10-year-old taste). This CD included a song that wasn’t really a hit, but stood out to me as a favorite back then, called “Born To Make You Happy.”
I don’t know where to place the blame for my codependency; maybe it’s the media, maybe my parents, who were married young (but it is…
