How Rick Started Having Sex With His Wife Again

Do you withhold important truths about what you want, instead of risking upsetting her?

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By Stuart Motola

Rick hadn’t been intimate with his wife for almost a year. They’d been married for fifteen.

“Once in a blue moon, she’ll let me touch her breasts,” Rick said, as if reluctantly accepting a consolation prize.

His options, in his view, were to stay in a sexless marriage or leave and risk losing his family.

The double bind of Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

Are you in a similar double bind with your partner?

Do you withhold important truths about what you want, instead of risking upsetting her?

I see this often in guys I coach, explicitly in sexless marriages, especially as women age. It’s a super shitty situation. My heart goes out to them. But it doesn’t have to be so.

Like many guys, Rick felt alone. REAL ALONE. And TRAPPED.

He went through his days at work, unenthusiastic to go home to be with his wife. His lackluster marriage diminished his family dynamic. His vitality as a man was suffering.

Rick complained that his wife had control over his sexuality. OUCH!!!

“And I’m not the kind of guy to go out and have an affair,” he said, even though he thought about it often.

Porn, on the other hand, was ok. At least, he wasn’t breaking his marriage vows, he said. A lot of guys say this.

But I have to ask…

Is it really a choice between don’t be an asshole by having an affair or get through your days with porn?

Rick’s far from alone amongst married men. In fact, even as you read this, hundreds of thousands of men in relationship are masturbating to other women.

And TO BE CLEAR, this is not about being puritanical or moral. It’s about living a full and loving life. It’s about NOT settling for less.

Are you settling for less in your relationship?

Withholding from speaking what you want with your partner?

Fearing you’ll blow things up if you speak up?

Or maybe you’ve just given up. You’ve tried to make it better, failed, and resigned yourself to what is.

Well, I’m here to say THIS. A man has man more options than stay in a sexless marriage or blow it up. He has more options than play small or get out.

Would you be in if you knew you could make a change in your relationship and not blow it up?

This is what I helped Rick do.

After years of pain and suffering, of feeling trapped in a sexless marriage, Rick became ONE OF THOSE RARE MEN to STEP OUT OF HIS FALSE DOUBLE BIND.

And unlike Rick, it doesn’t have to take years. It can happen in a few weeks or months.

Wondering how Rick turned his marriage around?

He did it simply by CHANGING ONE BEHAVIOR that was keeping him stuck.

Check out this video to find out what he did:

This story was originally published on and republished on The Good Men Project.

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