How Waiting for Enthusiastic Consent Will Get Your Needs Met (Enthusiastically)

Three tips for turning “No” into no big deal and making “Yes” even sweeter.

Photo credit: iStock

By Gena Raymond

I’ve been thinking about consent. I’ve been thinking about all the ways I’ve allowed others to influence my life — even in ways I’ve been less than thrilled about, and how I’ve often done the same because we didn’t really understand how sweet enthusiastic consent really is. I’ve kicked and screamed and turned blue from holding my breath — all to get others to meet my needs. That never worked out so well either.

We can strong arm and manipulate people into doing what we want. While that may be a temporary fix, does that really meet our deepest needs?

Can we really feel enthusiastic about this approach to self- love? Can we even call it love if we choose to go this route?

I’ve realized the hard way that I play a major role in whether my needs are met or not. I choose who to allow into my life. I choose how to express my needs. I choose what to do in situations once I realize my needs are not being met.

I’m not perfect at the three step method I’ve shared here for getting your needs met and I probably never will be. However, it has shifted my…