I Object! Top 3 Objections to Transformation
Life is precious and urgent and you can have it all.
By Bob Conlin
Here are the top 3 objections to taking on transformation I get to hear as a coach:
I can’t afford it.
This is probably my favorite objection and the one I hear most often. When I discuss the investment required to start with a potential client this is very often the first thing they put in the way of their transformation…and it’s ok. Totally. I don’t need the money but as a coach, I do get curious. It might actually be a different conversation to have. For example, if it was your dream to own a Bentley and there was one outside, in front of your house, with an $800 price tag, would you find a way to create the $800? Probably! We are too quick to dismiss investing in ourselves.
We’ll gladly spend money on an expensive item like a big screen TV but fail to see the same value in our own development. Are you worth it? Perhaps the actual conversation to have with yourself is “Do I value spending money on myself? VS. Can I afford it?” Most of the time, it’s the value side of that conversation… AND to go a bit further it’s likely a conversation ultimately about trust. I don’t value, trust myself and or the support professional I am in conversation with. You do not trust yourself, trust that you can get what you want here or you simply don’t trust me. Again, it’s all OK and, sooooo…. now what?
What is actually going to make the difference in your life? Doing what you are already doing in a “better, harder, or faster” way is likely not going to get the result in your relationship, career, or experience of self that your transformation here could create. Reading another self-help book probably won’t either, maybe… but consider saying yes, just this once, here now. The thing that has you saying “not yet” or “no” here is likely the same thing that has you not getting what you want everywhere else.
Choose, Invest, Trust, Transform.
I don’t have the time.
Coming up second is the business of busyness. Life is too full! How could someone possibly take on another thing? Between work, the kids, my partner, therapy, trying to get to the gym, how in the hell is someone supposed to take one more thing on? The answer here is pretty similar to the money objection. Do I value spending my time on it? Most people can carve out an hour a week to focus 100% on themselves. Again, it’s a choice, putting themselves first, before everything else AND it can be uncomfortable.
Spending an hour inside an intimate conversation, dreaming so big it scares the hell out of you, understanding your sabotage and that it’s your responsibility to create your experience of life is not exactly something most people want to commit time in their busy schedule to… so why not put a bunch of stuff in front of it. It’s ok, it totally is… but consider it’s a conversation ultimately about worth and love. You are worth the time and love that would be required to become the best you.
Those that love you have been requesting that of you since you created your life together with them. Honor yourself, honor those that love you and consider your busyness is bullshit. The armor for your fear.
Choose, Love, Make Time, Transform.
My life is good enough.
Only you can answer that question but consider good enough isn’t good enough. Yes! Yes! A thousand time yes… Yes, you are the expert in your life. If you are 100% satisfied in all areas of your life, I celebrate you! Heck yes! You’re doing it. Let’s get together and revel in your greatness! However, if there’s the slightest thought that there could possibly be more of anything consider that you can have it and there’s something in the way. You’re likely then to be in one of three “in my way” camps. 1. You have convinced yourself that you have achieved everything that you want to in life (ask your heart). 2. Just give up on having what you want. 3. Have the “I should just be grateful for what I have” mindset going on?
It’s all OK and consider whatever you want is still available to you.
Choose, Trust, Dream, Transform.
Whatever the experience of life you are living or want to be living it’s all OK. Embrace it, empower it, and be the best you there is to be. However, if there is something you want but are not experiencing, don’t let yourself get in the way of that experience here too. Life is precious and urgent and you can have it all. All the love, abundance, and success you can imagine.
Choose it first and figure the rest out later.
Until then, keep bringing courage and heart into your relationships.
The story was previously published on The Good Men Project.