Member-only story
Loving the Woman Who Needs More Than You Can Give
What do you do with a partner who seems too attached?
By Paget Norton
Early in my relationship with my now-husband Philippe, we would go to many parties together. A pattern started to unfold rather quickly. He was a self-professed social butterfly and would flit from person to person, flirting, laughing, having a good time. While I wanted to enjoy the party, I would spend much of it wondering where he was, who he was talking to, and why the hell had he brought me to a party when he didn’t want to spend time with me? Internally and externally he just needed space, so much space. In contrast to his space, as I’ve written in “Loving the Man Who Needs Space,” I needed more connection, more reassurance, more love, so much more than he could ever give.
Philippe would reassure me over and over that he enjoyed my company and loved me. In fact, I would say he is the first partner I’d ever had who truly loved me unconditionally. Even in the moments where I felt totally unloveable, he was there. It was a total mindfuck. We’d spend weekends together enjoying one another’s company, then when we parted, the doubt set in. I would wonder why he was with me, whether he could find someone more compatible, more like him. It took me–us–years to unravel it, so it was a beacon of light when we…
