Member-only story
No One Ever Taught Me How To Be a Man
Until I neared my 40th birthday, I never realized what not having healthy masculine role models was costing me and the women I loved.
By Bryan Reeves
No one ever taught me how to be a Man. I love my two fathers, my dad and step-dad. I’m grateful to have both of these good men in my life from a young age. But it was my two mothers, my mom and step-mom, who have really been the strong leaders in my life. They held the two families together and made sure that I always knew everything would be ok. Although I wasn’t cognizant of it as a young boy and teenager, my dads were never fully present and mostly seemed to be hanging on to their strong women, my moms, for dear life. One was an alcoholic and the other primarily a fantasy with whom I interacted mostly by phone through the formative years of my life. I didn’t just grow up with disoriented fathers. I have been immersed in a world dominated by warped, immature expressions of masculinity:
- Constantly sexualizing women
- Ridiculing vulnerability
- Woman-magnet, gun-toting hero-worship
- Homophobia
- Power-focused blame-game government politics
- Bullying from every angle
