She’s Amazing and I’m Paralyzed with Fear

Advice for overcoming the fear of falling in love.

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By Heather Gray

Here’s a letter I received asking for advice:

So I recently started seeing this young woman roughly 3 weeks ago. She lives about 2 hours from me. She is amazing: passionate, confident, well-traveled, and beautiful among other things.

Now, up until a few days ago, we were talking lots on the phone. We were very open with each other and I had no problem sharing my past experiences with her…..

I woke up Wednesday morning and instantly felt this overwhelming sense of anxiety. It almost felt like all the feelings I have towards her went away instantly. This scares the shit out of me.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with her in the whole wide world and it feels like some sort of defense mechanism.

It should be said that I haven’t had great luck with past relationships. My high school crush absolutely devastated me; broke my heart and I never fully recovered (I’m 26 now).

I’ve seen women here and there since but every time things “begin to get real” I pull away.

I guess what worries me the most is that I’ll never be able to recover those intense feelings I had for her over the…