Thank you for adding this very insightful comment. It points out a few things 1) True abusers use a long term strategy. They literally create a system for hiding what is truly going on from the victim, slowly isolating them from relationships where they might seek help, and doing everything they can to stop them from leaving. This plan is often put in place long before any *actual* abuse is apparent. 2) Because abusers make it so hard to leave, we have to stop blaming the victims for not leaving. The more we can talk about this and get people to see what systemic abuse actually looks like, the better.