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The OneThing Happy People Don’t Do

Thomas Fiffer shares a single, simple pitfall that happy people avoid.

The Good Men Project
3 min readFeb 10, 2020
Photo credit: iStockphoto

By Thomas G. Fiffer

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

— Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

And I ain’t the Lord, no I’m just a fool
Learning loving somebody don’t make them love you

— Jack Johnson, Sitting, Wishing, Waiting

A while back I wrote a Facebook status that I knew would turn into an article for The Good Men Project.

When we remain in an unhealthy relationship, we believe we are waiting for our partner to change. In truth, we are waiting for ourselves to change, a process that often takes longer than we expect.

It took me 15 years to figure this out — much longer than I expected — and another seven to connect it with happiness, and I believe this fundamental misconception is responsible for millions of unhappy relationships — both personal and professional — and perhaps billions of unhappy people. Yes, billions.

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So here’s the nut: Happy people don’t try to change other people or wait for them to change. They work only on themselves.

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The Good Men Project
The Good Men Project

Written by The Good Men Project

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