The Red Flags Are Flying (But We Don’t See Them)
When we realize the red flags are flying, is it time to go?
By Nina Rubin
The red flags. You know, the markers that blink, flash and sound like fire alarms that you just can’t ignore. When looking back at relationships and evaluating what went wrong and what went right, it’s always the red flags that were there from early on that end up biting you in the ass. Or, at least that’s been the case for me.
In one long relationship, which occurred during the Bush years (we began around President George W. Bush’s second inauguration and ended when President Obama got elected; go figure), my then-boyfriend unwittingly described the difficulty he had in expressing himself. Initially, I found it somewhat endearing and decided to overlook his ability to get closer to me. Well, what do you know? After one year, two, three, and finally four years of teeth-pulling and talking to a wall resulted in our ultimate demise.
Another boyfriend if I can even call him that (refer to this post) was so non-committal about everything in his life that when it was time to define ourselves, he used vague language and spoke in cliches. Naturally, because so much of his life seemed fluid, it turned out to really frustrate me and I ended the relationship.
