Toddler Super Fun Time Business Mission Statements

To bring a holistic and sustainable artistic enterprise to white walls everywhere by utilizing permanent markers in the domestic space.

Photo credit: iStock

By Shannon Carpenter

Toddler Super Fun Time Business Mission Statements:

• To bring peace to the world one meltdown at a time.
• Don’t ask what you can do for mom, but what mom can do for you.
• To bring a holistic and sustainable artistic enterprise to white walls everywhere by utilizing permanent markers in the domestic space.
• To transform the licking everything market by, ya know, licking everything.
• To connect the world’s professionals and have them come up with ideas to frighten you if you don’t do what they say.
• I am evolving the way your world moves by seamlessly disrupting your daily routines so that one day I can blame all my problems on you to my therapist.
• To enrich daily life with the same cartoon over and over again until eternity meets infinity, or you go insane. Whichever one comes first.
• To develop sneezing in your face technology to break through the cold and flu season boundaries so that it lasts all year long.
• To be the world’s leading producer in swearing.
• To utilize the power of the picky eater to bring nuggets and hotdogs to every table.
• Yes, I am the reason for your divorce.
• Improving my life one bite at a time.
• The unbreakable. The unstainable. The unrested. There is no barrier that we as a community cannot shatter to achieve global domination.
• Children of the Corn, but not fiction.
• To sleep or not to sleep that is the question. And the answer is to not sleep.
• To break down boundaries and discipline so that neither impair the optimization of the screaming market and to organically grow your separation anxiety.

A practical guide for modern-day parenting geared towards stay-at-home dads, offering advice on…