We’re Just Good Friends; Am I in an Emotional Affair?

Am I really cheating if I’m not even having sex?

The Good Men Project
4 min readJan 18, 2020
Photo credit: iStockPhoto

By Jenny Kanevsky

Relationships have many components, and yes, sex is one of them, but there are others. Friendship, childrearing, joint interests such as traveling, music, cooking . . . for every couple, they are different and each piece of the puzzle has its importance, but together, they make up a whole.

One major piece is emotional intimacy. And for most, not just women as is often assumed, emotional intimacy is critical to making the puzzle whole, and especially to fostering a healthy and mutually fulfilling sexual relationship.

For most of us, the emotional connection comes first. We become friends before we are sexually intimate. We share common interests. If we are in a committed relationship, especially a marriage or long-term partnership, we are likely emotionally intimate (or we want to be).


What does it mean to cheat emotionally? According to Psychology Today, this is when one partner is emotionally intimate, and in close friendship with someone outside the relationship. They may also be intimating future sexual intimacy. In many cases, these are secret or semi-secret friendships where there is obvious mutual physical attraction…



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