When Dad Stays Home: Advice for Couples Who Buck the Stereotype

As more women have joined the workforce, many are dedicated to growing their careers or running successful businesses. Those efforts often demand long hours, travel, and time away from home.

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  • Hand over the keys with trust. ”Adjusting to new roles can take time,” Wilderer says. “Egos and pride get in the way. Neither partner should micromanage or undercut the other’s responsibilities. With patience and understanding, each should adjust well to the model that they together agreed to adopt for the good of the family.”
  • Ignore the whispers, rise above negativity. Men and women can sense or hear criticism from outsiders when swapping traditional roles. “Many women today are gaining the confidence to break the glass ceiling in the workplace,” Wilderer says. “Yet they could use more of that confidence in their home lives as well, and their stay-at-home husbands can help them with that. Why should women feel guilty about their success? They are providing well for their families. Likewise, a man who has assumed the support role in the home may imagine that people are whispering he should be making a living for his family. But none of what people say matters when the husband and wife have total respect for each other and for their respective roles.”
  • Listen to each other’s ‘job frustrations.’ The mother may have frustrations and stress from work that she wants to air to her husband when she gets home. Likewise, the partner who has been watching over the house and kids all day may want to vent. “The main focus for both should be listening; most of the time neither desires unsolicited advice,” Wilderer says. “They need compassion and understanding, a sympathetic ear. Each partner should treat the other’s heart with care and tenderness.”

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