Why Do I Have to Be the First to Speak?

“After years of being nice and patient, I’m not sure I want to tell him what to work on.”

Photo credit: iStock

By Heather Gray

Dear Heather,

What do you do if you’re the wife and have tried for many years to convince him to pay a little attention to you, help you feel important, desired…instead of treating her like she’s your mother or a great roommate?

After years of being nice and patient, and usually just “getting over it”, I’m to the point where I’m not sure I want to tell him what to work on. I’m deeply hurt that he doesn’t have motivation to show interest in his own accord.

Now what?

I can almost hear a chorus of readers shouting at you to just leave that man!!!

Before you listen to them or to me, know that at the end of the day, only you are going to know what’s best for you and for your situation. I do have some advice here but I know it won’t work for everybody.

I read very clearly in your question that you are tired of feeling sick and tired. It’s exhausting and draining to ask over and over again for your needs to be met, only to be left still waiting and wanting more.