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Why Your Apology Wasn’t Accepted and How To Really Fix Things
As toddlers, we’re told to “just say you’re sorry.” As adults, we quickly learn that it isn’t true.
By Heather Gray
Last week, a client told me that after a three-week stint of tension and arguments, her husband finally apologized for racking up credit card debt without telling her and apologized.
She promptly told him where to go and how to get there.
When talking about her reaction she explained:
I just couldn’t be bothered. He was so monotone and flat. Sure, he said the words but there was no emotion behind his words, no sense of any real remorse. He didn’t seem to get that I felt tricked, betrayed, and lied to. He just thought it was the same old argument about money
As toddlers, the repeated message is to say “you’re sorry.” As kids, we learn to parrot this phrase on cue whenever we make a mistake and we’re led to believe that if we just say we’re sorry that everything will be ok in the end. As adults, we learn quickly that just isn’t true.
Apologizing and making amends is not as simple as just saying the words. If you’ve ever apologized and then found yourself trying to figure out why you are still in conflict…
